You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
