What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
