yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize