Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
