Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
