I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
