I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
