I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
