WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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