And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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