my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
