Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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