ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize