its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
