he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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