oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
