Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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