Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My vagina is very pro this idea
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