she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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