I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
