I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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