I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
did i just pee glitter
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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