Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I love having hate sex.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
