they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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