If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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