.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
