was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
