Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
