so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize