The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
