Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
