It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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