I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
