Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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