you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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