She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
