we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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