Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
a search helicopter?!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
