Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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