Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize