Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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