You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
