in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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