who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
