Don't you send me to vm
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
