I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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