where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize