I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
