I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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