I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
