Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
