thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
