You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
