I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize