the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
