For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
