oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
