TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
