i don't plan on having that self control this summer
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
