I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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