I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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