You work out of a Hotel?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
