He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
