I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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