Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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