belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
