all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
