With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
