someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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